the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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