8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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