Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
