Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
