its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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