she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
