she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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