Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
