drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
