we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
