Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize