If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
