I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
