I wish i was in the wii world.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
