Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
