lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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