You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
my poor anus
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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