youre lurking in front of me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
