like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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