No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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