its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
