Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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