i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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