question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
