Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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