my sisters under your porch take her home
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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