shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
