She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
