so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
