I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
