my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
