We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
