Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize