I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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