i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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