I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
