Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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