evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
