I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
