Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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