I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
