I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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