Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
