Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
