my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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