Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
