So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
