Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
