I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
