can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize