Yo dont text me then not text me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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