i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
