playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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