worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
