Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
