did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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