I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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