she woke up with a sticky ear
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She bit a glass in half.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
